Calling all ladies!
Sick of men who promise the world but can’t even text back? Tired of falling for the “good ones” just to find out they still live with their mother and can’t commit to a fitted bedsheet? Have you sworn off the male species entirely, but maaaybe still want one around who worships you properly? Well, allow me to introduce Mumford—the only man who will never ghost you, never leave his socks on the floor, and never “forget” to take the chicken out of the freezer. He’s devastatingly handsome, a world-class cuddler, and will always be overjoyed to see you (unlike Chad from Tinder, who took six hours to reply with “lol”). He’s ready to be your ride-or-die—no red flags, no commitment issues, just pure, unconditional love. Interested? You know where to find him. 😏
I know, I know—Mumford sounds too good to be true. A loyal, loving man who actually listens, never forgets a date, and worships the ground you walk on? There has to be a catch, right? Well, ladies, here’s the tea: Mumford comes with a little baggage. Specifically, the kind that makes him immediately bark at men like he just found out they still text their ex. We don’t know what happened, but we’re pretty sure some guy did him real dirty in the past—maybe he promised him belly rubs and long walks, then bailed like a bad Hinge date. Maybe he called Mumford a “good boy” but didn’t mean it. Either way, Mumford is done with men. Like, full-on, "I’d rather live in a convent" done. He knows some men are decent (probably), but he’s not willing to risk it. What he is willing to do is pledge his undying love to a ladies-only household, preferably one where no guy is going to swoop in with empty promises and a lack of emotional maturity. If you and your bestie/roommate/mom want a man who actually loves you unconditionally (and won’t leave hair in the sink), Mumford is ready to commit. He’s been abandoned before—left in a shelter and almost lost his life because someone couldn’t see what a treasure he is. He just wants to fall for someone who won’t throw him away when the next “good one” comes along. If you’re ready for a love that lasts, Mumford is waiting. And trust us, he’s so worth it.
Mumford is a 2 year old, 88lb male Great Pyrenees mix. Mumford is basically the perfect gentleman—if that gentleman occasionally forgets he’s not lap-dog-sized and has no concept of personal space. He gets along with all the dogs, though he’s a little shy at first—kind of like the new kid at school who waits to see if the cool crowd is accepting applications. He plays well with the resident Pyr (because, let’s be real, Pyrs have a “take it or leave it” attitude, and Mumford respects that). But instead of getting lost in the backyard zoomie chaos, he prefers to be inside near his humans, because what’s the point of having people if you’re not following them around like a shadow? As for kids? He does great with the tiny humans (ages 4 and 6), doesn’t mind their chaotic energy, and has yet to file an official complaint about being smothered in hugs. He’s gentle, but he does occasionally forget he’s not a teacup poodle and might bump into them like a fluffy linebacker. Oh, and speaking of personal space—he will put his paws on your shoulders and hug you like a long-lost lover in a rom-com. So, if you value things like “breathing room” or “not being lovingly tackled,” just be prepared.
Mumford isn’t one of those guys who’s going to sit around gaming all day while you do all the emotional labor in the relationship. No, he’s down for whatever. Want to have a lazy movie night? He’s in. Want to go somewhere? Say no more—Mumford will never hit you with a “nah, I’m good.” In fact, just thinking about going somewhere has him sprinting to the garage like he’s late for a flight. He jumps in the car without hesitation and then refuses to come back inside unless you physically drag him away from his vehicular dreams. He lives for car rides—staring dramatically out the window like the lead in a coming-of-age film, or snoozing in the back seat like a seasoned road trip veteran. He tried being a co-pilot once, quickly realized that wasn’t his calling (navigation is hard), and demoted himself back to passenger status. However, when you stop the car, be ready, because he will find a way out—whether it’s squeezing past you like a fluffy torpedo or straight-up launching himself over your lap. If a car door is open, consider it an open invitation. Leash manners? Let’s just say he has places to be and sniffs to sniff, and your arm strength is simply not his problem. A harness would probably help, but honestly, he’s got a one-track mind when he’s on a mission. That said, he’s actually more of a homebody—he loves the adventure of a car ride but doesn’t need to be out socializing with the general public. If he were in a crowded place, he’d be that guy loudly expressing his opinions about everything. Mumford is the perfect mix of energy and laziness. He gets excited for a leash, but also considers naps a top-tier hobby. He loves playing with his foster brother, enjoys a good bone now and then, and has remained shockingly indifferent to toys (fetch remains an untested theory). However, if you have human food, he is absolutely down for an impromptu game of “let’s see if I can steal this before you notice.” Whether it’s from the counter, your plate, or literally your hand, he will attempt to acquire it. Bath time? Not a fan. He tolerated a trip to the self-serve dog wash but spent the entire time leaning dramatically against his foster like a man being forced to go to brunch with his girlfriend’s friends. Blow dryers? Hard no. We had to bring in some ear protection because apparently, that was the final straw. Apartment life? Possible. Backyard? Preferred. Bathroom habits? Let’s just say he values privacy—if you’re watching, he’s not performing. Unlike most guys, he doesn’t see this as a bonding moment where eye contact is necessary, and he certainly won’t try to hold a full conversation while doing his business.
You can trust that Mumford is in fact potty trained, unlike some of the men in your past, he actually knows where to go and doesn’t leave messes for you to clean up. Mumford tolerates the kennel once he’s in it—kind of like how we all tolerate taxes and waiting for the microwave to hit zero. But getting him in there? That’s a different story. It requires strategy, speed, and a well-placed bribe. Toss a treat in, and he falls for it every time, charging in like he’s won the lottery—until he realizes he’s been bamboozled. That’s when you have approximately 0.3 seconds to close the door before he pulls a full-on reverse escape maneuver. Mumford isn’t just a dog—he’s an upgrade. Unlike your ex, he actually listens (sometimes), always wants to be around you, and will never ghost you for a “boys’ trip” that suspiciously includes his female coworker. Shoes? Okay, sure, he might steal them, but at least he’s upfront about it—no lame excuses like “Oh, I thought those were mine.” Trash diving? Yes, he treats your garbage like a buffet, but at least he appreciates the things you throw away, unlike your ex who never appreciated you. Counter surfing? Okay, so he helps himself to your food, but unlike your ex, he’s not pretending he wasn’t the one who ate your leftovers. And while he may be a little messy (yes, he does shed and does drool—think of it as free glitter and an organic moisturizer), Mumford will never leave his dirty socks all over the floor, forget your birthday, or claim he “just isn’t ready for commitment” while simultaneously moving in and eating all your snacks. In fact, he’ll gladly share snacks—okay, steal them, but at least he’s honest about it. He’s loyal, he’s affectionate, and most importantly—he will always be happy to see you. No mixed signals, no last-minute cancellations, just unconditional love.
So, if you’re ready to upgrade from disappointing exes to a 10/10 good boy who actually deserves your love, Mumford is waiting. No games, no ghosting—just loyalty, cuddles, and a little bit of drool. Fill out an adoption app at https://www.pyrpawsandfluffytailsrescue.com/adoption-app so we can pass it along to his foster fam, but fair warning—he’s in high demand (because duh, he’s perfect), so don’t drag your feet like your ex did when you asked him to define the relationship. And yes, you’ll need to pick up this handsome heartthrob in Yukon, OK. No, we will not be delivering him to your doorstep like an Amazon Prime package—this level of perfection requires effort. So, get that app in, gas up the car, and come meet your new favorite man.
